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Give Me One Reason
Tracy Chapman & Eric Clapton

Saint 2.0

Sunday, July 27, 2008
vacation message | 8:53 AM

While trawling the net, I came across this hilarious email vacation message by Chade Meng, the first Singaporean Google employee. My work starts again in 15 minutes which really sucks on a Sunday morning. Sigh. Meanwhile, enjoy.

I’m on leave until 8/15/2008. If you can’t reach me, please don’t think I’m dead, especially if you’re from payroll (if you’re not from payroll, I don’t really care what you think. Except you, boss).

During my leave, I will archive most of my incoming emails without reading them. Why?

Because being on leave, I’m likely to be frolicking on a beach or something, and reading emails is incompatible with frolicking.

If your request is important, please email me again after 8/15/2008.

If your request is not important, please send it to /dev/null, it will be taken care of in the most appropriate way, I promise.

In case of an absolute emergency that requires my immediate attention, my teammates know how to contact me. Bribe them.

Tell them they look beautiful. Say they look almost as attractive as Meng.

Examples of “absolute emergency”:
- You are the President of the United States.
- You are Celine Dion.
- You urgently want to give me a billion bucks.
- Evil forces intent to destroy the world today (Note: not AFTER my vacation, but today) and you think I’m the only one who can save the world.
- You discovered that I’m The One, but so did the Agents, and you have only 24 hours to find me to give me the “blue pill/red pill” speech.
- All of the above.

During my time away, I will refrain from becoming evil.

But if I do become evil, I promise I will grow a goatee and rub my hands in a sinister way when I speak.

And if I capture a superhero sent to stop me, I will painstakingly explain my evil plans in detail to him/her before handing him/her to my snickering, incompetent goons.



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